Joan was born on 29th May 1930 in Bangkok, in Thailand when that country was still called Siam. Her father, Reginald, was a solicitor and her mother, Carrie, who had been born in Thailand, worked for him. 

Joan spent a very happy childhood in Siam, with her little brother Douglas. Under the threat of Japanese invasion, the family moved to England in the late thirties, with Joan, Douglas and their mother arriving first while Reginald remained to tidy up affairs. The family lived in the village of Cold Ash, near Newbury in Berkshire. The family home sat in a large garden which, as money became tighter after Joan’s father’s death in 1954, had to be sold off. Joan and her mother built a new house on the last piece of land and lived there together from 1960. 

The family played an active role in village life. They were, on the face of it, very English, but Joan grew up in a house filled with memories of far-away countries, and she had a widespread family extending from the US to Thailand. Joan attended Downe House School from Lent Term in 1942 to the end of the Summer Term in 1947. 

She was a gifted artist and excelled at painting and dress-making. Although she did not pursue these gifts as a career and made a living as a secretary, the family prizes her paintings and drawings as they are not only beautiful but remind us of Joan’s creativity and imagination. 

Joan never married but she was full of love. She adored her two nephews, Robert and Charles and was adored in return. She felt the same way about her great-nieces, Emily and Jenny, and they felt the same way about her. She kept in contact with all her family and was, in many ways, a focal point for it. Large family get togethers were always at her house. She was regarded with great affection by her work colleagues. On her first day of work at one place she immediately set about watering all the office plants, earning herself the nickname of ‘Auntie Joan’. 

Joan was a great traveller. She visited USA, Canada, Greece, India, Cambodia, Indonesia, Portugal, Iran, Egypt and Malaysia amongst others. These overseas trips tailed off in the 2000s as Joan got older, but she increased her travel within the UK, especially with the National Trust. She kept notes and brochures from all her visits, often cramming in two lines of script between the printed lines of her notebooks. Joan considered it a virtue not to waste paper. She did, however, collect it, and kept teetering piles in an upstairs room, alongside thousands of other items she thought might one day be useful and which were too valuable to throw away 

She was a photographer, and regularly entered for the Cold Ash Horticultural Society show. She took literally thousands of photos which showed her main interests – flowers, family, friends and history. 

Joan lived with her mother all her life. She retired in 1990 and, as her mother grew more infirm, became a full-time carer until the latter’s death in 1996. It was after that that Joan, freed from work and carer duties, really started to do what she wanted. She was an enthusiastic gardener and member of the Cold Ash Horticultural Society and local branch of the National Trust. She was a member of a local book club and was famous for never reading any of the books the club set itself to read. She did, however, dedicate herself to the smooth running of the book club, regularly hosting it in her house, and dedicating a cupboard in her kitchen to it, stacked with special crockery and biscuits. 

In this period after her mother’s death Joan lived an independent and fulfilling life, filled with friends and activity. Much of the detail of it was little known to her immediate family, but the feedback we have had from these friends is always the same – she is described simply as ‘a lovely lady’.  

Joan suffered a series of brain haemorrhages in 2013. She was rendered unable to speak or feed herself and was barely able to move. We cannot know for sure what Joan went through over the five and half years from the onset of her condition to her death on 29th January 2018, but we do know that she had genuine moments of happiness. Her face could light up with a smile when she saw someone she recognised. The staff at her care home in Malvern in Worcestershire cared for her beautifully, and we would like to thank them deeply for their commitment, as well as all the friends who supported her over this time. It cannot have been easy for them. Joan’s condition was such that she appeared superficially a very different person to the one we knew from before the abrupt change in her circumstances. Her carers at the home knew only this new Joan, but it is relevant that they described her just as those did who knew her before – they all called her ‘a lovely lady’. That essence of Joan remained unchanged. 

A memorial service for Joan was held at St Mark's Church in Cold Ash, Berkshire, on 18th February 2019. 

Written by: Rob Atkinson